Time to fill in some blanks about this place:
Who The Hell Are YOU?
Who? Me? I'm nobody. For some biographical information, go to the right (for all the good it'll do you). I've loved movies ever since I was a dirty rotten little whelp, but it wasn't until I saw "2001" on my thirteenth birthday (and couldn't make heads or tails of it!!) that I've actually been studying film. Lately, prices have been going up, and with home-video and so many cheap alternatives to going to the theater, it just seemed like the right time to say "This movie you won't miss anything watching at home, but THIS movie you should see in a theater."
You can tell from my bio that I've done some post-production work in my career, so the process isn't some "dream factory" concept to me. It's hard work and long hours. That's something I keep in mind writing reviews. But that "sense of wonder" I look for, too.
Why Another Movie Blog?
I'm asking that myself! Next question--
When Does This Thing Get Updated?
There's no set-in-stone schedule. It gets updated when new things appear. I hate deadlines, and there are times I need to "digest" a movie before I write something about it that satisfies me.
What if I want a review for something that hasn't opened yet?
Tough noogies, I guess. Until I can cadge previews, you'll see things when I do--maybe sooner!
How do I find a movie I'm looking for?
I should have called on you first. There's a link to another blog "The Index," which has all the films listed in alphabetical order (I ignore "A's" and "The's" in the titles), and they have links directly to those entries on this blog. You can also use the "Search" feature--the films have a limited "Label" base to look for (Years, Directors, Titles, Major Stars). Don't be disappointed if you don't find what you're looking for, though. We're just getting started.
And I STILL haven't found what I'M looking for.....
Some of these reviews are really LONG. Some are really short! What gives?
The Long ones--with the posters on the LEFT--those are for new films. The reviews are new and take a look at the film in some depth. The short ones--with the posters on the RIGHT--they're reviews of films on video, and capsule summaries. They also don't have the "Full-Price/Matinee/Rental" designation the longer ones do. If there's enough of a demand, I'll put them in, but I figure since these things are on video anyway it nullifies the designation a bit.
Basically, with the exception of the newest films, all the reviews are cobbled from a blog I started a couple of years ago called "An Unpublished Life is Not Worth Living." They came from a variety of sources and formats--that's why some reviews look different from others. There's been some experimentation with color--that sort of thing. Sorry if it's confusing.
Got any Top Ten lists?
I don't really "do" top ten lists. I don't like them much. There IS something I did from the old blog called "Anytime Movies" which is a series of films that turn me into a drooling movie-watching zombie who doesn't have the sense to turn them off any time they're on. There were ten of those. Well, actually eleven. There are also essays about some subjects of film whenever the fancy strikes me. There are a couple of movie-related "personal heroes" themes I've written. There's also a series (though since only one's been written, that's a bit of a misnomer!) called "Missed It By That Much!"--a look at films that were almost classics. Also, you'll find a bunch of films bunched in an on-going director series called "Now I've seen Everything!" that looks over a director's entire career touching briefly on each film. There's one on Kubrick, Lucas, Spielberg, Hitchcock, and "the Bond's" and we'll be tackling the Coen Brothers and Christopher Nolan in the coming months...or years. There's other fun things we'll do, too--look at trailers and posters for up-coming movies, I'll put up a few pivotal classic scenes up as well.
What's Your favorite film?
That would be answered in the "Anytime Movies" series.
What's Your Least Favorite Film?
How to choose? For a look at what I thought were "Cable-watchers" last year, which is really low, check out the 2007 in Review--it's a bit varied. I think the lowest for me in awhile have been "Hollywoodland," "Shoot 'em Up," and "Planet Terror," which gives you some idea of my tastes.
Where'd You Get That Wierd Name For This Place?
I'd solicited ideas from friends and readers, and I got quite a few (that will be a column some time). Every few days I want to change it to my runner-up--"Looking For Ponies," as in "Getting a pile of manure and optimistically searching through it, saying "There's gotta be a pony in here, somewhere!" which is as good a metaphor for writing about films as I've ever heard, if a trifle negative.
But I was at a birthday party where the conversation was fast and lively, and somebody brought up movies, and the Hostess (Olaiya Land) sank in her chair and sighed "Let's not talk about movies!" And so, we did. It dominated the evening to an alarming degree. We all love movies. We all have our favorites, and our Golden Turkeys. We've all been dazzled by the flickering blue light, and occasionally wondered why we bothered. It's a Ribbon of Dreams going at 24 frames per second, 30 if it's HD-video projection--a simulation of life, blurred photographs that take advantage of a property of the eye--we very briefly retain an image flashed on our corneas--to present the illusion of movement, when it's actually a fast-moving collection of stills. Moving Pictures.
We've all made movies in our heads, maybe written a screenplay, replaced dialog or said it along with the film. We've all admired the Stars, even though we know it's all a crock and they're nothing like that in real life. We watch the Oscars in disgust...year after year after year.
We talk about movies, and we do it all the time.
That's why the title. You can't judge a book, or a movie by it, though.
Tomorrow: We go "LIVE" with the review of 2007, then the real reviews start pouring in.