Oscar, Oscar, Oscar....

There's no television or cable here at LNTAM Central--"movies" is all we have--but MSN has a handy little scroll feature that, like the fascinating CNN crawl that's always more interesting than what's going on the big screen, is updating us with a constant stream of information of whose winning with no commercials, no comedy, no dancing and no entertainment. Your typical Oscar-cast.

So, here's who's taking The Big Walk tonight. Mind you, all of the following is "The Best of.." I couldn't resist making snarky comments after (*sigh* It's a weakness)

Costume design: "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" (This award never goes to films about the homeless)

Animated Feature Film: "Ratatouille" (yay!)

Make-up: "La Vie En Rose" (the Edith Piaf bio-pic? She use a lot of make-up, did she?)

Visual effects: "The Golden Compass" (I would say for the bears, but Nikki Kidman appeared virtually wrinkle-less--maybe she was CGI)

Art Direction: "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet...Street." (Who won for Best Art Direction in color, I wonder?)

Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem "No Country for Old Men" (decided by a coin toss)

Long pause to make the Supporting Actresses wilt in their gowns a bit..... For my own entertainment here's a short Sondheim-esque commentary:

The Academy was over-awed
At the design of "Sweeney Todd:
The Demon Barber of Fleet...Street"

Ooh, wait! Here's more:

Supporting Actress: Tilda Swinton "Michael Clayton" (She proved she could play a real person--well, as close to real as one can be in PR--after all those wraiths, and angels and witches she's been type-cast in. Good for her!)

Adapted Screenplay: Joel and Ethan Coen "No Country for Old Men" (I'm happy, but it ain't that different from the novel, kids)

Best Actress: Marion Cotillard "La Vie en Rose" (Big Upset! Ellen Page just said "Damn! Damn! Fuckety damn!)

What happened to Original Screenplay, I wonder? Doesn't that usually come after "Adapted?"

Are they doing "Best Actor" next? I'm confus-ed! Did they do "Best Actress" out of sequence because Brangelina had to go home, or something?



Long pause...Let me guess: It's a medley of the songs from "Enchanted," the list of people who died (Heath Ledger got a big ovation) , the Technical "highlights," and the Irving Thalberg Award....hmmm. While we're waiting, here's a picture of Marion Cotillard, giggling in the direction of Angelina Jolie:

Some of my own statistics tonight--we've lost internet connection three times, and re-booted once. K is watching episodes of "The New Twilight Zone" ("Night of the Meek" is on). I'm wearing a lovely plaid shirt with my sooty blue jeans and the Costco socks with the holes in the feet. K is wearing her "Nike" ensemble.

Foreign Film: "The Counterfeiters" (Austria) (Heard mighty good things)

Best song: "Falling Slowly" from "Once" (meh. I was pulling for "Happy Working Song" Guess it was the song-medley that held things up)

Cinematography: "There Will Be Blood" (Good choice, that one)

Score: Dario Marianelli "Atonement" (Cool! Wanted him to win...would have been happy with "Ratatouille")

Documentary: "Taxi to the Dark Side" (playing right now at the Uptown...)

I told K that Helen Mirren starred in one of these New TZ's--she;s going out of order looking for it. Me, I'm eating dinner.

Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody "Juno" (I would make a comment, but I should stick with what I know)

Best Actor: Daniel "I DRINK YOUR MILK-SHAKE!!" Day-Lewis "There Will Be Blood" (foreign sweep of actors...James Lipton is breaking out the black crepe at The Actor's Studio)

Did I ever mention the story when they were filming "Jane Eyre" when it came time for the big fire in the mansion, that Orson Welles called out to Joan Fontaine "The flames are worrying me a little bit!" and Fontaine yelled back, "We'll come get you when we smell burning ham!"

Best Director: Joel and Ethan Coen "No Country for Old Men" ('Bout time)

Best Picture: "No Country for Old Men" (Excellent!)

Yawn! I'm happy! Good night, everybody! See you next meat parade!