Men in Black III

Time Wounds All Heels
or
"Don't Ask Questions You Don't Want to Know the Answer To..."

The third "Men in Black" film had to go somewhere else but up.  The first two films were variations on the "illegal alien" theme about a government organization that monitored the activities of extraterrestrials in the world and specifically New York City, and revolved around alien invasions and the containment of said aliens. And when you've seen one alien invasion directed by Barry Sonenfeld, you've seen them all, and hyper-kinetically at that. And once it's been established that "aliens can be anywhere" the joke runs a bit dry pretty quickly, especially when the sub-species can contain pug-dogs and large cockroaches.  The second film tried to expand on those concepts and felt a bit thin in the process, concentrating a bit too much on the secondary characters rather than the basic plot and the character interactions.

So, where does Men in Black III go from there?  

One of the nice aspects of the series has been its ability to still think outside the box, while expanding the horizons of just what that box might contain, be it variations of scale and dimension, even if only in afterthought.  With the infinite reaches of space seemingly exhausted, the group (based, supposedly on an idea by Will Smith) has the series going back in time.  Naturally.  It ostensibly revolves around an Earth-takeover plot by another alien (one must ask at some point "why always us?"), "Boris the Animal" (who seems based on the DC Comics "Hell's Angel in Space" Lobo and is played with growly gutteral responses by Jemaine Clement from "Flight of the Conchords") who escapes from his maximum (and we mean maximum) security prison to find the man who sent him there 40 years ago—Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones).  When he's unable to kill him here, the Boglodite finds another means to do so, and Agent J (Smith) wakes up the next morning, the only one with any memories of K past July, 1969.  Agent K has been killed by Boris in the past, and J must journey back to try and save him.*

Once back there, J negotiates his way through a 1960's era way of doing things.  Everything's a little less high-tech (a little less), but the MIB Agency is still there, as is the much younger Agent K (Josh Brolin, doing a bang-on interpretation of Jones) and J must solve the puzzle of saving the Earth (of course), while keeping K safe.  The past sequences are great—Men in Black has exploited the "fish-out-of-water" angle perpetually—and new corners are being thrown out the whole time (My favorite being a brief glimpse of a "Barbarella"-type being escorted around MIB, and although Smith is a bit too "Red Bull" throughout the entire movie, check out his understated reaction to some Black Panthers).  Great cast, too.  Rip Torn is gone, but David Rasche plays him in the past, Emma Thompson is on hand as the new MIB head, Will Arnett makes a brief appearance as does Bill Hader.  Toss in the chameleon-like Michael Stuhlbarg as an alien able to read multiple time-lines and there's always someone to deflect the eye, or hand things off from Smith.

But, the best thing about this "Men-in-Black" installment is resonance.  The other two were fine, the first better than the second just for its novelty, but had a shelf-life of three minutes.  Part of it is Sonenfeld's way of comically undercutting any meaning to the thing, by changing perspective—"you think you got a handle on it yet? Well, let me throw THIS at you!"  The whole "the Universe is so big and cosmic that there's no way you can understand it because there's so many mysteries, so nothing is real" concept, which is the backbone of the series (and the source for most of its humor) leaves one with a feeling of "meh"--nothing matters in a vast uncaring, unfathomable Universe.  Not here.  The cold of Space has nothing to do with the leavening of Time, and, in this case, the franchise plays it straight, without a wink, a nod, a reveal, or a goo-spraying splat.  For once, something really means something in the "Men in Black" Universe, and that venturing into uncharted territory makes the third time the charm.

Men in Black III is a Matinee.  (Not really necessary to see it in III-D)

* I'm not saying anything here that isn't revealed in the trailer.

Monsters Vs. Aliens (3-D)

"The Ginormica Monologues"

It's the perfect wedding day for Sally Murphy (voice of Reese Witherspoon, cracked on the boil): she has the perfect dress, the perfect church, and the perfect groom in fat-headed weatherman Derek Dietl (Paul Rudd). But it's all in the timing. Just after a little pre-nuptial spat about honeymooning in Paris or Fresno, the bride-to-be gets squashed by a meteorite. At the altar, everyone comments that she's positively glowing...but...glowing green! And she goes from meteoric to all metaphoric, by growing enormously, dwarfing her puny groom and scientifically smashing the church to splinters. I kept waiting for the parents to say "our little girl's grown up!" but no such luck.* Pretty soon, the Army led by General W.R. Monger (a gruff Kiefer Sutherland, having fun) fires hypodermics in her butt and Gulliver her to the ground, where she awakens in one of those cavernous U.S. installations we only wish we had with a bunch of other monsters Monger's captured since the atomic testing days of the 50's. There's the Missing Link (Will Arnett), a Blob named B.O.B. (Seth Rogen in a bit of typecasting), and the insane Dr. Cockroach (Hugh Laurie), as well as a giant Japanese moth creature called Insectizoid. Kept prisoners by the government, they are finally called out as a last resort when Aliens, led by the evil Galaxhar (Rainn Wilson, like you've never heard him) attack the U.S. ("...they only seem to ever attack here,"** intones a Brokawed-paletted news anchor) after humiliating the President (Stephen Colbert...typecasting again).

Dreamworks and the directors (Conrad Vernon andRob Letterman of "Shrek 2" and "Shark Tale," respectively) do a nice job of plumbing the envelope of the monster-crowd giving us versions of the Mothra, the Fly, the Blob, The Creature from the Black Lagoon and the 50 ft. Woman, and instilling the politically correct message that these aren't monsters but "special" people...er, things...entities (whetever). Indeed, the entire movie plays like a therapy session for Sally to embrace her empowerment and not to see her change as an accident of Nature, so much as...a happy accident of Nature. Hey, empowerment is empowerment even if you do go up 30 dress-sizes.

The animation? Extraordinarily simplistic in a weird way. Sally looks like one of those big-eyed Keane children, and most of the men seem to be variations of Nixon (except for Derek, who looks uncannily like Conan O'Brien). The monsters are varying body-types and primary colors, so you can tell who's who when they're flitting across the screen (which they do a lot). Still, there is good planning going on, so one is never at a loss for where one is, and where the danger lies. In a totally made-up universe that can be a problem. And the 3-D effects are impressive, starting with a Dreamworks logo gag (heh), and a gratuitous paddle-ball sequence, although the 3-D-ness, sometimes comes off as having the dimensions of a pop-up book. Still, the process has come a long way, and is frequently, deliberately eye-popping. It's not enough to recommend seeing it in theaters, though, ao hopefully when it comes to DVD, they'll include the 3-D version, with glasses.

"Monsters vs. Aliens" is a Rental

* ...and I'll bet the attendess threw puffed rice, (badum-bump!)

** Personally, I think it has to do with our Immigration Policy. "Okay, you can destroy the Golden Gate Bridge...once, but promise you'll never do it again and we'll consider granting you amnesty."

Blades of Glory

"Blades of Glory" (Josh Gordan and Will Speck, 2007) Will Farrell and Jon Heder play two polar-opposite figure skaters (the "Hawk and Dove" of the skate world) in style and personality, who are banned from competing for life and entreated by Coach Craig T. Nelson (sounds familiar), to go back into the sport as the world's first same-sex doubles competitors. Farrell and Heder are both hilarious as are their main competitors, the Van Waldenburg brother-sister team, played incestuously by real-life husband and wife Will Arnett and Amy Poehler (Arnett almost salchows away with the movie) The filmakers find many outrageous ways to knock the sport in additon to finding many opportunities to exploit Farrell's customary odd-ball vocal tangents. Toss in some of the skating world's elite who are only too willing to send up their images for a laugh (Bravo and a bouquet to Scott Hamilton, Nancy Kerrigan, Dorothy Hamill, THE Brian Boitano, Peggy Fleming, and a big one to Sasha Cohen!) and you've got a raucous movie that does delivers a lot...a LOT...of laughs.

Semi-Pro

Shooting from the Bottom of the Key

Okay, Will Ferrell has made movies about kid's soccer, NASCAR, Professional Skating, and now...Minor League Basketball. What's next for Summer, 2008? Chess? Javelin?

Being a fan of Ferrell's*--appreciating that odd mix of sasquatch-physical-presence, Divine-like willingness to do anything on-screen, and surreal improvisational skill--one wonders when the light will start to dim. Well, "Semi-Pro" is getting a little dark, a little desperate, but still maintains a good portion of laughs, even while it's something you don't want to take the kids to.

Not only is the thing rated R for what the MPAA calls "pervasive language," but they also won't get some of the more arcane jokes as the creators not only take free-throws at the excesses of minor league basketball, but at that barn's broad-side of a subject--70's couture. Lots of research was done as far as dress and decor, and the film is shot like an urban crime drama, complete with Owen Roizman-like grainy photography. It revolves around the underdog Flint, Michigan Tropics (Team Motto: "Let's Get Tropical!"--'70's, remember?), and the team is desperately trying to become one of the 4 teams merging into the NBA, rather than disappearing without a trace. The team's owner/coach/star-player is Jackie Moon (Ferrell), who acquired the team after scoring big with the funk-single "Love Me Sexy," and is having trouble filling the seats and winning games. Desperate for a chance at joining the NBA, he trades in the team's washing machine for washed-up NBA vet Monix (Woody Harrelson--playing it semi-straight, which works). Along for the ride on this one are Andre Benjamin, and such Ferrell-movie vets as Andy Richter, Will Arnett, and Rob Corddry, with Maura Tierney drawing the short straw for this movie's "girlfriend with confused motivations played by a television vet." Jackie Earle Haley appears as a truly frightening fan--he'll make a great "Rorschach."

K. enjoyed it some, but noticed a sink in quality from "Blades of Glory."

"Semi-Pro" is only semi-good, with all the subtlety of a semi-truck. Bargain Rental.

*Is it time to declare him one of the two bona-fide movie-stars to come out of the vast talent pool of Saturday Night Live that can sustain a film beyond a ten-minute skit, much less maintain a string of hits? Sure, the Chase's, Belushi and Ackroyd's, Eddie Murphy's and Adam Sandler's could sustain movies (and sometimes Mike Myers), but their careers are quality roller-coasters and few of them are capable of being the tent-pole driving a film. Only Ferrell and Bill Murray can be point-men for a movie and have it consistently open well. I blame it on "Coneheads."